Whig Hill

Two things

1. Took L to the vet today for a check up. Her right rear leg has less mobility than before. But, the vet told me, she doesn’t have bone cancer.

What? Wait. Hold on. Bone cancer? I have to worry about that now? No, said the vet. If Lizzie had bone cancer, she would have yelped when I bent her knee...like this—

Vet: bend Lizzie’s knee.

Lizzie: YELP!

Me: arrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhh OMG Lizzie has bone cancer aarrrrrrrrrggghhhhhh. faint.

Vet: No, no, no, no. She’s fine, I pinched too hard, she’s tired of me poking at her, she didn’t do it when I really bent her knee, she’s fine, really.

Me: wimper, wimper, wimper, ok, sniff, sniff.

2. My pledge to you is that when I write my book, it will be less than three hundred pages. Almost every book I’ve read this year, you get half way through and you just want it to end. Say what you have to say and don’t stretch you argument so far the reader is more concerned with getting it over with than paying attention. I know, I know: philistine. But, it's true.

history is a dangerous game

See, I told you history is full of swashbuckling adventure and danger. Now will you believe me?

Dear museum friends, pls read this

Assert your relevance. This Seb Chan meditation is full of win.

impulse buy

Sometimes you see a book and think holy crap, that's exactly what I want my dissertation to be on/about/like. The shifting world view described in this largely encapsulates what I want to look at, but for the southeast.

Happy May 20

"Let South Carolina revolute, secede, and be damned."

As of last week I have lived longer in my present shanty than I did at my former estate, the original Whig Hill. Now that calls for some moody navel gazing! What amazes me about this four year campaign to recover my identity from marriage by being true to myself is not how successful I’ve been, but the comparison between how much that goal stays the same and continues to guide, to how far from it I am now. Actually, I’ll do you a favor and not get into it.

Except (you knew I would) that when I came to Acadia Street the anxiety over everything manifested as uncontrolled thoughts and worry about the dog and that sent me into the comforting and stabilizing arms of paxil. Now, as I stand on the verge of a major change in my life and circumstances, the dog anxiety is back full force. She’s fine, only getting older, but the pit in my stomach and the muffler on my heart makes me want to hold my breath and stop time. My increasingly good health isn’t helping. Low blood sugar, low A1C (finally), healthy eating, and exercise has left me feeling weak physically, and walking around with anemic eyes and the sensation of passing out all the time.

I need to embrace change and the future lest the distance I’ve come in four years is as far as I’ll ever get. In my present view that means giving up present comforts and loves for a period of uncertainty and struggle. Trepidation doesn't begin to describe it. But I’ll trust to risk, hard work, and prozac and we’ll see how it turns out. Until then, I’ve got some reading to do.

	Langhorne Slim - Restless
	Found at skreemr.com

publication

Well, now, check this out. Thanks to Bill Ryan and Bob Calhoon for making this happen. I'm sure Corey Stewart also had something to do with this somewhere along the line. And I'm exceedingly honored to appear alongside my friend Jim Broomall, who will be going far with this whole history thing.

show

I should call my occasional radio show the inevitable descent into fiddles and banjos. I'd link to today's playlist, but the playlist archives is screwey. This whole day has been one frustration after another.

	Langhorne Slim - Sweet Olive Tree
	Found at skreemr.com

Things

   
  Originally uploaded by natmaconjr.

Gary at Endangered Durham has an outstanding post on the old Lakewood amusement park.

He also found some shots of a building being disassembled for removal to Bennett Place. Take a look. This is that building today. (Literally. I took this shot this morning.) It is the kitchen among the historic structures. It is difficult, from a brief look, to tell which part of the old house this kitchen is but the original has been chopped up quite a bit. In Gary's pics, you see two sections of the old structure and here there is only one. I wonder if that "smokehouse" in the background is the other section, considerably smaller.

Anyhow...just a note. I had Lizzie walking in Duke Forest this weekend and she came up with a new and bad looking hitch in her right rear leg. I had an anxiety freak out. Lizzie, on the other hand, shook it off and after a day and a half of rest (against her will), she appears to be absolutely fine. I am much relieved.

Over

I just turned in my final paper. This semester is over. My first year of school is over. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself now. I need to clean my house, clean my car, clean my computer. I need to get a haircut and get my car serviced. I need to walk the dog more. I need to ride my bike more. I need to get back to forty hours a week at work and build back up some comp and vacation time. I need to go visit the widow Graham up in Virginia. I need to pay bills and take care of my finances. I need to find a new roommate. I need to plant my tomatoes and peppers in the yard. I need to stop having anxiety.

I do have a couple of neat-o projects lined up for work that should be fun. Also, I got a part time radio slot--every other Monday. I'll let you know when that's on. I have to study for the foreign language exam I’ll take in August. More importantly, I have my comps reading to begin. I have a reading list of 139 books and that’s just for post-Civil War America. That’s not even the period I need to get to know well. My goal is to finish at least one a week over the summer, maybe more. Guess I should go get started. I feel like I’m already behind.